I did an interview tonight on Michael Abadi’s public access show, “VT Blogosphere TV”. It was a blast, and I got to mention Sarah Palin’s “hoohah”. I’ll let you know when it’s airing, and I’ll also post the vids here. It should be soon.
I have to say, for the first time ever since blogging, that I now have my Dan Quayle. You know what I mean, when some public figure is out there that is so mind-numbingly, excruciatingly stupid that s(he) provides a constant stream of snark-worthy material. It’s got to be how late-nite talk show hosts feel about Bush – there will undoubtedly be a comedy vacuum for a while when he’s gone.
So, speaking of comedy, the Veep debate is this Thursday. I can’t help but wonder how many people are going to be tuning in simply for the sheer idiocy of it all. Lefties all over the country, in addition to being enormously entertained, will have chronic bouts of schadenfreude. This will epitomize the pinnacle of the conservative movement in the last 20 years.. the sheer, utter glorification of stupidity and incompetence as a strength and personal virtue. Reagan would be proud. Dan Quayle is probably jealous.
There’s still part of me that wouldn’t be surprised if she “had a family emergency” and ducked out of it at the last minute. There’s even chatter that a good ol’ white trash wedding of her daughter right before the election might somehow lift McCain’s anemic numbers. How, of course, this is never explained. I can see it getting traction with those idiot voters who like Palin because they can relate to her being a ‘mom”, while forgetting that in their dimwitted fucktardery that we’re not electing a “mom”, we’re electing a president here. I don’t care if she can make a mean fluffernutter. And I don’t say that to disparage the vital function moms have in our society.. I have one, you know. It’s just that it’s apples and oranges… voting completely based on emotion with no thought processes involved.
So, anyways, the WSJ today revealed that since the McCain campaign knows they’re really screwed and stuck with her now, they’d better give her some ‘training’. Their solution?
Meanwhile, the more experienced advisers assigned to her by the McCain campaign are accustomed to working with seasoned candidates, not someone “completely green on the national stage,” one strategist said. Several Republican backers have griped that the campaign has put the candidate in difficult situations, from sitting for high-profile television interviews to popping into meetings with foreign leaders, some of whom made sexist remarks, said several officials.
“It’s time to let Palin be Palin — and let it all hang out,” said Scott Reed, a Republican strategist.
Yessssss (pumps fist wildly in the air)! I love how they’re trying to spin this, as though we’re supposed to believe that her batshit insane explanation of foreign policy experience (“living next to Russia”) weren’t her words.. they were McCain talking points! Uh, okay. Her own words? Expect a lot of “um” and “uh”, interspersed with awkward silences as her one or two synapses misfire. Also, expect how this will play out. The wingers will try to play it up that Biden was mean to her, and sexist, too. You know, for actually speaking in complete sentences and such. Oh, the horror.
Now, I’ve said it a bazillion times… the GOP pretty much uses the nuts on the religious right for votes, nothing else. They could give two shits about ending abortion, stopping the gays from getting married, or making glossolalia the other official language of the United States, but this particular base ain’t exactly the brimming with critical thinking skills, so thay gotta throw ‘em the red meat.
Problem is, they overstepped this one. By pickng a bonafide nutter that is so loved by the Godidiots, they failed to realize that this kind of candidate comes across to even the marginally-thinking Americans as, well, really stupid.
And the clouds parted…
Conservative Republicans are in shock after it emerged this morning that vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, currently a self-proclaimed hockey-mom, used to be a pitbull-human hybrid. It was also revealed that shortly after accepting the Republican nomination she began to evolve rapidly into a 90-year-old man with one testicle and a Georgia cotton plantation.
Ms Palin, who has promised to keep wearing her popular rimless spectacles despite the rapid changes that will see her face become even squarer than it is, apologized to her party for proving Darwin’s theory of evolution.
“I am gutted that I have let the American Right down like this,” she said at a tearful press conference this morning, surrounded by her collection of stuffed polar bears in the den of her Anchorage home.
“Our primary argument for Creation and against the communist satanic onslaught of evolution has always been: ‘Well I’ve never seen a chimp turn into a man’ or ‘Show me a gorilla giving birth to a human baby and I’ll believe in evolution’.
“It has been an argument as sophisticated as our Grand Old Party, and I am devastated that I have undermined it, firstly by transforming from a pitbull to a woman, and now into an elderly male slave-owner.”
(h/t to Pharyngula)
Well, that was a lot more wonky than I thought it would be, surprisingly run quite well by Lehrer, compared to the “Where’s your flag pin?” nonsense we’ve become accustomed to. McCain did not look well, as though he was still stewing over his ridiculous “campaign suspension” nonsense and the fact that most people saw it for what it was: a stunt. I think he was pissed that he couldn’t weasel out of it. I was waiting to hear him say he didn’t have to debate because he was a POW or something.
Nevertheless, Obama has a new ad out pointing out how McCain never used the term “middle class” once during the debate.
Curiously enough, nobody’s put out an ad mentioning that neither one of them mentioned “poor Americans” or “poverty” in the entire debate. The focus always seems to be on the middle class who are entering the ranks of the poor. Nada about the people who already there, or the ones who have always been there.
And that reminds me of my thoughts on the last night of the DNC in Denver, when I was on the last bus of the evening, missed my stop, and had to ride it for another half hour until it came back around. I saw a lot of people sleeping on bus stop benches, a profound contrast to the spectacle of the convention. Come to think of it (and someone correct me if I’m wrong), I don’t ever remember “poverty” or “poor people” mentioned there, either.
One of those fine Americans not worthy of mention at last Friday’s debate
… is what is inside that keeps this lady’s cranium from collapsing in on itself? Guesses, anyone?
Partially thawed dog turd? Cherry slushie? Love of Jesus? Lemme know in the comments.
Here’s some super stoopid for you, this one regarding Israel. Even Katie Couric looks like she’s tightening her sphincter to keep from blurting out, “You’re a fucking idiot and you have no idea what you’re talking about, do you? Do you even know where Israel is? Hint: you can’t see it from your house.”
Oooh… the bad guys.
I’m really beginning to think the term “conservative” refers to the amount of brain cells one must have to believe in any of this nonsense.
Disco madness starring a bunch of C-list actors whose careers were all but over in 1978. Frank Gorshin? Larry Storch? Anyone under 45 even know who I’m talking about? Oh, and Rick Dees and Isaac the Bartender from the Love Boat. Sweeeeeet.
Republican douche extraordinaire Lindsey Graham told CNN’s Dana Bash yesterday that if there isn’t a bailout deal by Friday “McCain has no intention of going to the first debate.”
Meanwhile, another Graham, this one being Larry Graham, told FBC readers, “Pow!”
Consider this your Friday Nite Funk, a day early.
I can’t help but wonder if this latest stunt (and that’s exactly what it is) by Pappy McCain (“canceling the debate”) is really the beginning of the end, like jumping off of the Titanic or something. Not to be a concern troll, becuse anything that improves his odds of losing is undoubtedly a good thing, but jeezuz, this is stupid by any stretch of the imagination. It boggles the mind. Obama should go to the debate anyways and debate a picture of McCain (like Ed Flanagan did with his run against Jim Jeffords years ago, and yes, I know, he lost). It’d look like this:
UPDATE: John Cole knows why:
McCain’s entire campaign is composed of lobbyists, and they need to be in Washington to get their cut of the $700 billion. They can’t miss this shot at the trough.
…from the hate group, The Family Research Council. The latest? If the gays get married, Christians will go to jail.
Oh, Lord, please save us from your followers. Idiots.
and you can sell your bad assets to the government, too… whatever you think they’re worth! (h/t to The Big Picture)
