Five Before Chaos

Romney really is the gift that keeps on giving. Seriously. His campaign makes McCain’s look like brilliance, in hindsight. What we’ve been witnessing this last week is what happens when you make the faulty assumption that the rest of the country is as stupid and gullible as the Republican base. Someone desperately needs tell Mitt he’s not running in the primary anymore.

But in a bigger sense, it’s really just cosmic justice. Being a dick has been the essence of the modern GOP for as long as I can remember, whether it be their policies, their people, their messaging, whatever. They’ve gotten the candidate that they truly deserve, one of the biggest dicks of all. And boy, is it sweet.

At Valueless Voters Summit, Rick Santorum tells truth for the first time in his life:

“We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

Yep, you’re stuck with the dumbasses. Glad you finally came ’round to that, Ricky.

Holy shit, I don’t know how I didn’t know about this one, directed by Brian DePalma (!). A 1974 rock version of Phantom of the Opera. And it has Paul Williams in it. Yeah, that guy.

Must. See. A Craptacular Crapstravaganza!

You know, I thought the McCain campaign was a high for comic tragedy. Not even close:

ROMNEY: I believe it’s important to have a president and I will be a president, if elected, that honors that pledge and all the pledges that I made. [The Pledge of Allegiance] says that we are a nation under God…. If I become president of the United States, I will not take God out of my heart, I will not take God out of the public square and I will not take it out of the platform of my party.

He’s really flailing. Also said something about “taking it off of the coins”, which will get the Alex Jones-fetishists going. Also:

The former Massachusetts governor began his address by thanking the audience for reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, which he recalled saying himself “as a boy in fourth grade.”

Considering that the fourth-grade level was more than likely the average intelligence level of the people in the audience, at least he’s in good company.

Of course, this is all moot, as Ron Paul the Great Savior still has a few more aces in his sleeve and will swoop down and beat the Mittbott and Obama by quadruple-digit margins. I know this, because he really showed ‘em at the RNC, din’t he, just like he and his smug minions said he would?

In Denver International Airport right now waiting for my next flight, so considering I missed the GOP Grouchy Lying Clown Show, I’ll take a bit of time to chime in.

Although many might point to the orangutan movies as Clint Eastwood’s low point (no, wait, there’s City Heat, or perhaps Bronco Billy) , last night’s performance was undoubtedly the low point for Mr. Eastwood, and I say that as someone who puts him in my top 5 actors.

I guess there’s two ways of looking at this. Eastwood isn’t always the most versatile actor. When out of his usual casting, sometimes it can work, other times not so much. If he was going for some sort of surrealistic performance art piece, he was most certainly miscast. However, if he was going for the grouchy, senile, rich, disgruntled white guy thing (aka “the Republican base”), it was a masterful performance, chanelling Heston and Reagan, among others.

One other convention afterthought…. WAY TO GO, PAULTARDS!!! You really showed them, just like you said ya’ would. Enjoy your irrelevance.

Well, I’m Montana bound in about 26 hours. The lawn needs to be mowed, the housesitter (in the form of helpful parents) is in place, and just a little more packing to do.

I’m hoping that when I get back, life gets a little less hectic, as with the election coming up, I gotta get my groove back on. I haven’t chimed in yet on Paul Ryan, who is not my relative and is basically what a smart person looks like to very dumb people, so I’ll leave you with a good commentary from The Stranger’s Paul Constant, Romney Loves Ryan:

If we’re being generous, Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan is a man of contradictions. If we’re being honest, Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan is an idiot. Mitt Romney’s vice presidential pick has problems beyond the basic teabagger contradiction of claiming to be for small government then passing an obscenely large military budget, voting to ban gay marriage, and enacting laws that lessen a woman’s access to abortion and birth control. This is a Republican who unabashedly supported George W. Bush’s war in Iraq and the Patriot Act, but also claims to be a big Rage Against the Machine fan. There is a dissonance, a bifurcation in Ryan’s brain that demands further investigation.

And with the silly season upon us, I bid you adieu, although I’ll try to check in with y’all when I can.

I love this shit:

D-Day Fighting Was So Intense That 4% Of Normandy’s Beach Is Still Shrapnel

… and in my case, a fair amount of these:

Me and the sweetie are heading out to Glacier Park for two weeks for a lot of camping and backpacking.

House sitter – check.

Camping gear – check.

Plane tickets and all reservations – check.

Bear repellent spray – check.

Extra large set of balls – haven’t found ‘em yet.

I’m not kidding,  I’ve been grizzly-obsessed ever since I planned this trip, as Glacier has just about more grizzlies than anyplace else in the lower 48. Of course, I started it out by reading a book called “Mark of the Grizzly”, which, in the context of “teaching”, basically is about 50 or so ways to get torn apart by a grizzly. I lie awake at night thinking about this shit. When checking on the status of the campsites we have reserved for our 3-night backpack over the Continental Divide, I recently saw that one of ‘em says “Increased bear activity.”

Fuck.

Actually, I really, really want to see one. Just from a very safe distance, preferably with no knowledge that I am watching it.

I know that I’ve been sparse around here lately. Such is life. But if a few months go by and the election season starts and there’s still nothing from me on here, rest assured, me and the sweetie are in a pile of bear poop scattered across the Montana wilderness. Good times.

I usually don’t try to speculate on the political motives behind the shootings in our gun-crazy nation, as, more often there aren’t any, but how much you wanna bet that this ongoing shooting at the Sikh temple had a shooter who was not only angry and disturbed, but too stupid to tell the difference between a Sikh and a Muslim? I’m not in any way saying that it would have been justified otherwise, as it never is, even if it were at a teatard rally.

Just sayin’. This is America. We’re dumb like that.

Random thought while driving on backroads on way back from fishing:

America always has so much potential for greatness. But it almost always falls short, because there’s always some asshole who’s

a) deluded in thinking he’s going to be rich someday so he does the bidding of the rich

b) and is always so fucking upset at the idea that some non-white person on welfare might be buying t-bones and vodka.

That’s our current political situation in a nutshell. Hell, that’s more or less what it’s been since Reagan.