Five Before Chaos

Yeah, I thought I was done with the CFIWU’s, but there’s still plenty of these people going around screwing it up for the sane people, so here we are. Two things, actually.

The first is from Ed at Dispatches from the Culture Wars.

First off, the hate group known as the American Family Association has their Baby Jesus butt-plugs all up in a bunch. Again. Why? Well, the European Union might (GASP!) pass a UN resolution that opposes sodomy laws:

Notice that the AFA is objecting to a non-binding declaration supporting the right of gays and lesbians not to be made into criminals, on the grounds that it will be used by “radicals” to overturn laws that do make them into criminals. Do you need any more evidence that they really do think gays and lesbians should be thrown in prison? Yes, these people really ARE that extreme.

Some 90 countries have laws that ban sodomy, and could eventually feel the brunt of the U.N. action.

They leave out one tiny little fact: virtually the only nations that actually enforce anti-sodomy laws are nations run by Islamic reactionaries based on Sharia law, like Iran and Saudi Arabia. You know, the very same nations who give support to the very terrorists we are fighting against around the world. The ones they constantly rant about as being evil – except, of course, when they agree with them, as they do here. And they wonder why we sometimes call them the American Taliban.

Of course, who’s surprised by this?

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Ya’d think that by now, nothing coming out of the mouths of the deluded Godidiots would even phase me. You’re probably right. But they’re still worth a mention just becuse they’re so ridiculous. The latest is over at Ethics Daily, a Baptist site. It’s some of the most sexist things I’ve read in many a fortnight. Apparently, wives get abused because they rebel against their husband’s God-given authority:

Bruce Ware, professor of Christian theology at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky., said women desire to have their own way instead of submitting to their husbands because of sin.

“And husbands on their parts, because they’re sinners, now respond to that threat to their authority either by being abusive, which is of course one of the ways men can respond when their authority is challenged–or, more commonly, to become passive, acquiescent, and simply not asserting the leadership they ought to as men in their homes and in churches,” Ware said from the pulpit of Denton Bible Church in Denton, Texas.

Well, then.

Ware offered 10 reasons “for affirming male headship in the created order.” They include that man was created first and that woman was created “out of” Adam in order to be his “helper.” Even though the woman sinned first, Ware said, God came to Adam and held him primarily responsible for failure to exercise his God-given authority.

When Jenni gets home from work today, I’m going to run this by her, that she’s my “helper”, and gawdammit, the Lawd says you better go get me a beer, woman. Now. And after I do, I’m sure I’ll look even worse that that zombie pic a few posts down.

Radical cleric James “He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.” Dobson is apparently none to happy about Rambo McCain heading towards the GOP nomination. Why? Oh, it’s those occasional “maverick” moments that McCain has:

“I am deeply disappointed the Republican Party seems poised to select a nominee who did not support a Constitutional amendment to protect the institution of marriage, voted for embryonic stem-cell research to kill nascent human beings, opposed tax cuts that ended the marriage penalty, has little regard for freedom of speech, organized the Gang of 14 to preserve filibusters in judicial hearings, and has a legendary temper and often uses foul and obscene language.

In the Republican party, a “maverick” is one who occasionally pulls his head out of his ass long enough to acknowledge some sort of truth and do the right thing (and no, this is in no way an even remote implication of McCain support on my part – I still think he’s nuts, if only a bit less than the rest of the ever-thinning GOP roster). Dobson’s little hissy fit shows the strong disconnect that these people have with the way reality works, as well as how much they really miscalculate the tendencies of Americans. It becomes ever more apparent, once the people who once had their ear are either no longer or in positions of power, or more likely, have realized they’ve milked the “Christian Sucker” voter for all they can and the game is up. James Dobson’s America is truly a nasty, horrible place, and thankfully, we’re moving further away from that now. He says if McCain gets the nod, he won’t vote. Oh, the tragedy.

It’s ok, though. he’s got his new TV superhero show to keep him busy (apologies to Adam West).

Ah, it’s good to be shrill again. Been a while.

Continuing my theme this week of the impending slide of the religious right to the margins of irrelevancy where they belong (and that’s being kind), there was a NYT article yesterday that reiterated some of the points I’ve been touching on. Let’s hear it for the scholars:

Scholars who study the role of religion in politics now say it is possible that the Bush years were an anomaly and that evangelicals, of whom religious conservatives are only a subset, could find themselves back where they were before – divided among themselves and just one of many interest groups vying for attention.

One can certainly hope, eh? And a dimly lit light goes on in one of the brain cavities of one of the faithful:

“Beyond their cowardice, there’s an arrogance on the part of these candidates,” said Janet L. Folger, the president of Faith2Action, who helped organize the debate. “The arrogance is this: ‘We are just taking your votes for granted. You have nowhere else to go.’ “

The sad part is that it’s been this way from day one, even with St. Reagan, and these people are just too stupid to figure that part out. And the fact that they have nowhere else to go just makes me giddy, to be honest. And it closes with some words from radical cleric Rick Scarborough:

“It’s not about winning elections. It’s about honoring Christ.”

Good. If it’s really about honoring Christ, shut the hell up and stay home on election day. I can’t think of a better way, considering how so many of you have perverted the message of love into one of intolerance.

Earlier in the year, as the Presidential election started moving, I commented how, amidst the panderfest known as the GOP roster, it really seemed that Giuliani was pretty much kissing off the religious right, and how that would be a good thing, because if he gets the nomination, they really have no other viable alternatives. Seems like it’s going that way, as Salon, the LA Times and the NYT have all simultaneously picked up on this. The Godnuttiest candidates are stuck in the second teir (Brownback, Huckabee), or if Keyes is really in, the 10th tier. Grandpa Fred Thompson apparently can’t talk his way out of a paper bag, according to radical cleric James Dobson (from the LAT):

James C. Dobson, one of the country’s most influential evangelicals, told allies in a recent e-mail that Thompson could not “speak his way out of a paper bag.”“He has no passion, no zeal, and no apparent ‘want to,’ ” the founder and chairman of Focus on the Family wrote. “And yet he is apparently the Great Hope that burns in the breasts of many conservative Christians? Well, not for me, my brothers. Not for me!”

Perhaps the initial hype came from the fact that they just like the ‘burnin’ breasts’ of his porn-star lookin’ wife. Who knows. At any rate, they’ve all got their chastity belts in a wad at the prospect of a Giuliani nomination.

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Yep, they’re still aroud crawling in the muck, wounded but not down. Seriously, I’ve never seen a group both so unbelievably ignorant of history and so obsessed with gay sex. Just go out and have some already, people. Who knows, you might like it.

Anyways, over at Americablog today, there’s a good piece on the unraveling of the professional “family values” crowd. It discusses a few things, but of particular interest is a recent mouthbreather gathering called the “Family Impact Summit”. Now I don’t like to usually quote tons of text from another site, but you just need to read this account (courtesy of Box Turtle Bulletin) of  the panel of Godidiots getting an earful and stumbling horribly, when confronted with a rather angry and intelligent lesbian:

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Now, even though some of them are slowly catching on that they’re being played for suckers, for many of the Religious Right, Bush is still their anointed one. We’ve heard many things from them over the years about how the Sky Fairy chose Bush to lead America in this great battle against evil, yadda yadda, etc, pardon-me-while-I-puke. And as you all well know, fundies aren’t exactly known for their exemplary intellectual prowess and critical thinking skills. Even so, as I said before, some are waking up to the fact that Bush may even be even more moronic than many of their own. But have you ever heard Bush’s idiocy used as a justification for God punishing liberals? I laughed my ass off on Saturday when reading this letter from an enlightened deep thinker from Barre named D. Paul Wood. I don’t know how long the link will be accessible, so I’ll print it here in its entirety.

Who is letter writer Strat Douthat, and why does he feel it necessary to pour out his hatred of President Bush on this page every two or three weeks? He reminds me of the other critics and liberals who inundate this newspaper with their constant complaining and whining about the present administration in Washington.

The ironic part of all their huffing and puffing is that they are the ones responsible for putting the Bush presidency in the history books! You see, they “voted” him into office. Not by casting ballots, but rather through their liberal behavior and attitudes.

Our creator pronounces several curses upon his people for their disobedience and disrespect of his principles of correct living; and one of them is: “I will give children to be their princes, and babes shall rule over them.” (Isaiah 3:4) In other words, foolish and immature leaders are the result of our own insolence.

So … if you want better leaders in America, then all the anti-God nonsense that is taking place in our country needs to stop. If your hope is in a Democrat becoming president, without our people changing their behavior, you are grasping at wind.

Did you get that? The Bible prophesied that God would deliberately send us a moron for a leader as a punishment for turning against him. I guess that explains the rule of the GOP that ended last election day. We must have really screwed up bad to get 12 years of that. So is Mr. Wood saying that if we were good and righteous, God-fearing and willfully ignorant, we’d get a Democratic prez? Why did the GOP lose in ‘06? Were we more religious? I can’t even begin to dissect all of this, help me out here, please.

Unfortunately, even with the Sky Fairy gracing us with the death of Overlord Falwell, the ignorant zombies of irrationality and intolerance continue their mind-feast unabated. (yak!) How’s that for a pompous intro? Now to the story.

You probably know that Mary Cheney, daughter of Darth Cheney, has recently given birth to a baby boy. You probably also know that *gasp!* that Ms. Cheney is in a committed relationship with another woman (and no, I’m not digressing into the whole idiocy of her working for a party whose certain factions would lynch her if they could). Yep, a lesbian. Anyways, it seems like some heads are exploding in the far right hate-group, The Concerned Women for America, who were the topic of last month’s CFIWU!

See, the rapture-ready’s panties are all in a wad because there was a picture on Cheney’s White House page showing him and his wife (you know, the lesbian-erotica-in-the-old-west author) holding their new grandson. More specifically the caption is what raised the ire:

… His parents are the Cheney’s daughter Mary, and her partner, Heather Poe.

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Jerry Fallwell, 1933-2007. Welcome to Pottersville has more:

Falwell, as with Robertson, as with Franklin Graham, as with James “Last of the Dogbeaters” Dobson, as with so many others, was all about hate. Maybe he wasn’t quite as outer fringe as Fred Phelps but at his worst he wasn’t very far from it. As far back as the height of his power in the late 80’s, he became such an embarrassment to moderate Christians and conservatives that even warhawk Barry Goldwater publicly said that he’d love to kick Falwell in the nuts.

I’ve never been one to feel that death somehow exempts someone from criticism. Let’s just say it’s a bit nicer place with one less “agent of intolerance” (to use Pander Bear McCain’s words) on the planet. Maybe Pat Roberston and James Dobson better make nice soon. If there is an afterlife, there’s no doubt in my mind that Falwell’s getting a prostate exam with a pitchfork right about now. Good riddance.