Five Before Chaos

Considering that nobody really gives a shit about Sarah Palin anymore, the new recipient of the Dumbest Fucking Person on the Planet Award goes to Congressman Allen West, for his latest word salad:

My statement to the United Nations would have been, “The future does not belong to those who attack our Embassies and Consulates and kill our Ambassadors. The Angel of Death in the form of an American Bald Eagle will visit you and wreak havoc and destruction upon your existence.”

Wow.

Who can top that? Rep. Steve King? Michele Bachmann? Rush Limbaugh? That’s a hard act to follow.

Well, I’m Montana bound in about 26 hours. The lawn needs to be mowed, the housesitter (in the form of helpful parents) is in place, and just a little more packing to do.

I’m hoping that when I get back, life gets a little less hectic, as with the election coming up, I gotta get my groove back on. I haven’t chimed in yet on Paul Ryan, who is not my relative and is basically what a smart person looks like to very dumb people, so I’ll leave you with a good commentary from The Stranger’s Paul Constant, Romney Loves Ryan:

If we’re being generous, Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan is a man of contradictions. If we’re being honest, Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan is an idiot. Mitt Romney’s vice presidential pick has problems beyond the basic teabagger contradiction of claiming to be for small government then passing an obscenely large military budget, voting to ban gay marriage, and enacting laws that lessen a woman’s access to abortion and birth control. This is a Republican who unabashedly supported George W. Bush’s war in Iraq and the Patriot Act, but also claims to be a big Rage Against the Machine fan. There is a dissonance, a bifurcation in Ryan’s brain that demands further investigation.

And with the silly season upon us, I bid you adieu, although I’ll try to check in with y’all when I can.

By and large, I don’t watch campaign commercials, although they are interesting from time to time to see whatever shit whoever is peddling at any given time. Given that Ricky “Bullshit!” Santorum is on his last legs, I had to take a look at the “Obamaville” bit that’s making the rounds:

I nearly pissed my pants with laughter after seeing this one, as I woulda sworn it was something from SNL or MadTV or something. There’s the cute little flash of Obama with Ahmadinejad, of course, but the whole thing is so beyond reality, it’s comical. Lots of miserable, sad people, but in actuality, they’re probably sad because Rick Santorum won’t let them have any sex that doesn’t involve babymaking or capital gains tax cuts. Or something.

Sweet jeezus, these people gots nuthin’. And the sad part is there are a lot of people out there that’ll buy into this shit. It’s their alternate, fabricated reality.  November can’t get here soon enough, I tell ya’.

… seems to be completely absent from anything Rick Santorum ever says. You ever notice that? It’s Old Testament all the way with that fucker. No room for compassion, love, you know, the Jesus stuff. I fully expect that his foreign policy has something in it about gathering the foreskins of our enemies.

This concludes our random thought for the day.

From TPM on the GOP’s determination to take us back to the 50′s:

“So there you have it: modern women being told by Republicans that they’re not qualified to talk about their own sexual health, are dressed like “whores” and probably need birth control because they’re so slutty. And this is just in one day.”

I thought it rather odd to wake up on a cold February morning and hear something that sounded like thunder. Then I realized it was the GOP establishment shitting their pants after Santorum’s triple win. The nutters certainly don’t like Sir Willard.

Oh, and Ron Paul? Crazy as that motherfucker is, he’s gonna hafta try harder, as he’s been beaten by Santorum four times now.

In the WaPo:

There are only two possible reasons for House Republicans to behave the way they did. Maybe they are so blinded by ideology that they no longer care about the impact their actions might have on struggling American families. Or maybe their only guiding principle is that anything Obama supports, they oppose.

Well, he almost nails it. It’s not a “maybe” about Republicans being “so blinded by ideology that they no longer care about the impact their actions might have on struggling American families.” It’s a “definitely,” due in no small part to their teatard base.

Second, when the hell have Republicans ever given a flying fuck about struggling families? “Struggling” to most GOP’ers means having to sell their fifth house or something.

Boehner: “If you can get this fixed, why not uh, why not do the right thing for the American people – even though it’s not exactly what we want?”

I’m praying to the that god that I don’t believe in that this man gets the nomination:

“Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habits of working and have nobody around them who works, so they literally have no habit of showing up on Monday,” Gingrich said.

“They have no habit of staying all day. They have no habit of ‘I do this and you give me cash’ unless it’s illegal.”

Yes, there are people out there who heard this, and undoubtedly said to themselves,“Yeah! He’s telling it like it is! Just like I would!”

Unfortunately, that person is probably your old-fart racist uncle who laments for a 1950′s existence that never really happened, and thinks that poor people are poor because they choose to be. He was also really pissed that Obama was gonna take away his Medicare and give us soshalized medicine, back when the newspeople still gave a rat’s squirt about the Army of the Pasty and Grammatically Challenged. In other words, Republican Archetype #29483.

Newt’s definitely got his vote, unlike Romney, who’s Republican Archetype #5210 – the rich, snotty preppy back in college who banged your girlfriend last night, told you about it, then offered to buy you a beer so you wouldn’t hold a grudge. I’m still not quite sure who he’s appealing to, other than the Magical Underwear Utah Posse. That, and billionaires who really don’t want to get their hands dirty with all that culture war/strapping young bucks/fetushizing stuff.

These assclowns are insane. Somewhere, a president is giggling.

The GOP throwing granny off a cliff. Love it.