Jan 25 2013

Not dead yet.

Me, not this deer that my brother found when ice fishing on the Waterbury Reservoir today.

frozen deer leg

I ain’t lying… I’ve thought about hangin’ it up here. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans, and all that.  But I’ll get it going again. Had a lot of stuff happen since the last time we all chatted.


Jan 25 2012

Shit. I’ve become a cliche.

I know, the whole “Shit People Say” meme is going way overboard, and posting Youtube vids constantly is the last refuge of the lazy blogger, but this was funny. Especially if you know me.


Jul 27 2011

Santorum might have another Google problem

Dan Savage strikes again… Hilarious.


Jun 30 2011

Oh, those wacky Taiwanese

Apparently, there’s a news show in Taiwan by a company called NMA that’s done completely with computer animation. It’s hilarious. Perhaps if we could do a real “hard news” show like that here, the teabaggers might actually understand things.

This stuff is almost surreal… look at the vid about the NY gay marriage thing, complete with fire-breathing lesbians:




May 20 2011

No, tell us what you really think

I’ve written a lot of movie reviews for crappy movies before, but I don’t think I’ve ever been able to meld the perfect amount of metaphor and hate as this guy, in his review of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie:

One of the worst films of all time, On Stranger Tides has absolutely and utterly no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I wanted to say it’s like watching an enema, but even that’s a good thing: you get rid of the filth. Instead, here, you are force-fed shit, then made to regurgitate it, and then eat it again. It’s as if you were cloned, and the clones shared the same consciousness, and then were turned into the human centipede, but instead of three, this centipede is endless. It’s not so much pain, though there’s that, too, but, instead, nausea.


Apr 21 2011

Don’t laugh, it’s probably coming next

From the Onion, the next big GOP crazy:

In the continuing controversy surrounding the president’s U.S. citizenship, a new fringe group informally known as “Afterbirthers” demanded Monday the authentication of Barack Obama’s placenta from his time inside his mother’s womb. “All we are asking is that the president produce a sample of his fetal membranes and vessels—preferably along with a photo of the crowning and delivery—and this will all be over,” said former presidential candidate and Afterbirthers spokesman Alan Keyes


Feb 11 2011

Fun with Google Voice

I have a friend who has the Google Voice thing for his phone. When I leave him voicemails, it “transcribes” them and sends him them as emails. Problem is, it ain’t so precise. Here’s one from today, when I was calling him to tell him to start the pot of water for the ribs, and that I’d be over in a bit:

Hi Kevin, F, it’s, Judy. Hello, I’m leaving very well, so if you’re still on the big pot of water in the borough of your show You know what the latest numbers today from the end of 10. The job is rate rose to nearly 14% in November as of last month. Inflation remain just over 5%. It faces in the evening economic crisis and when you get this, a Greek government approves sweeping call. Signatures last year so that he could get international baler last check on Wall Street, the Dow was down 40 point to 12199 This is an P. M Hey off being blamed for the class of the commuter planes were higher. Linda kill black people, Maryland and Lyndon and investigation is underway for your resume her throat with reminder to hook up with you. Qwest records morning slices before, but I haven’t heard a one of my three have a bunch of different run voice on the final approach the plane came down or flipped over calls for her lawyers revision authorities. Tony movie because of this. Please give us a little. Decontrolling was couldn’t. C. So if you heard of happened. Okay, bye steps. This becomes Irvine second worst commercial aviation accident. After, 1968 airing just like the crash of years coast showing 61 Frasier news bye hey hey, we’re.

Sounds like something I’d find in my spam filter, no?

This one, from a few days ago, is when I was asking him directions:

Hey, It is about out about Dale back. Bye Yeah, cos the white schlecter not a point of all I know a lot. Julie, I have an interest and I think you get hurt certainly send it to my days you know her difference going to leave in Chester below Hello record, as well as opposed to hit you think you could give us a buzz. 1. It includes blah blah blah blah okay about that. I was away to the program would like to be able to the, and I’ll get collection want my dick Greg’s of American public is with hello hello hello hello hook. Hey, thanks for joining us on this buddy have to do.

I thought everyone wanted their dick Greg’s of American public with hello hello hello hello hook… don’t they?


Jan 20 2011

The Buffalo Beast’s “50 Most Loathsome”

Always a good read:

9) Tea Partiers
Charges:
Openly racist and lying about it, uber-religious, hyper-hypocritical, usually-tetched old codgers who wheel around in their Medicare-provided Hoverounds® and rage against fiscally irresponsible social programs, like Medicare, because they’re too dumb to realize that they’re co-opted, Machiavellian mouthpieces of greedy billionaires.
Aggravating factor:
They elected some 40 candidates to Congress.
Sentence:
The consequences of their actions.

Once again, the number one slot goes to:

1) You
Charges:
Your brain’s been cobbled together over millions of years of blind evolution and it shows. You’re clumsy, stupid, weak and motivated by the basest of urges. Your MO is both grotesquely selfish and unquestionably deferential to questionable authority. You’re not in control of your life. You wear your ignorance like a badge of honor and gleefully submit to oppression, malfeasance and kleptocracy. You will buy anything. You will believe anything. You believe that evolution is a matter of belief. You likely scrolled down to #1, without reading the rest, because you’re an impatient, semi-literate Philistine who’s either unable or unwilling to digest more than 140 characters at a time. You think Epic Beard Man is a national hero and that Bradley Manning might be Eli and Payton’s brother. You believe in American exceptionalism despite the contrary, compelling and overwhelming evidence. You tacitly partake in all manner of atrocity without batting a lash. You’re actively participating in our species’ extinction and you’re either in denial or you just don’t give a shit. You escape into every sort of mind-numbing distraction and ridiculous, convoluted fantasy, so you don’t have to face the bitter, terrifying fact that your life is utterly meaningless.
Aggravating factors:
The careers of Rush Limbaugh, Oprah Winfrey, John Stossel and Justin Bieber; the success of The Secret, “Medium” and Atlas Shrugged; the election of Rand Paul; the existence of Kentucky, Texas and “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”
Sentence:
Bad teeth, an affinity for afternoon tea and the guilt-plagued, nostalgic psyche of a fallen empire.


Dec 24 2010

Some things I’ll just never understand

… such as the tradition in Catalonia, Spain, called caganers, which are little statuettes of famous people pooping. The AFP has more on this tradition:

The ceramic caganer statuettes show affectionate disrespect for famous personalities from home and abroad. They have been sold in Spain’s northeastern Catalonia region around Christmas since the 18th century, when they were placed in nativity scenes in the hope of bringing good luck and a rich harvest.

But they show the personalities with their bottoms bared in the act of defecating.

Putting little shitting figurines into a Nativity scene? I’m likin’ that, but could you imagine if someone did that here in the US? The GOP would be calling whoever did it terrorists and calling for their assassination. That first link above has a bunch of ‘em. Like this:

Lluis Gene / AFP - Getty Images

The world’s biggest caganer, in a Barcelona shopping mall really exemplifies my feelings about the holiday:

Toni Garriga / EPA

Well, if you celebrate something, happy holidays to you all. Thanks for sticking around.


Dec 19 2010

The good old days

Happy Sunday (more of this here).