Five Before Chaos

Considering that nobody really gives a shit about Sarah Palin anymore, the new recipient of the Dumbest Fucking Person on the Planet Award goes to Congressman Allen West, for his latest word salad:

My statement to the United Nations would have been, “The future does not belong to those who attack our Embassies and Consulates and kill our Ambassadors. The Angel of Death in the form of an American Bald Eagle will visit you and wreak havoc and destruction upon your existence.”

Wow.

Who can top that? Rep. Steve King? Michele Bachmann? Rush Limbaugh? That’s a hard act to follow.

And, no, I’m not even alluding to that because of all the pollution. The Texas Freedom Network has a rundown of the Texas GOP’s most recent platform. It’s a noxious stew of ignorance, know-nothingism, godidiocy, xenophobia, anti-environmentalism, you name it. If it’s shitty, it’s in there. Highlights:

• Declares separation of church and state is a “myth” and calls for Congress to withdraw federal court jurisdiction over cases involving religious freedom and the Bill of Rights
• Calls for teaching creationist arguments in public school science classrooms
• Opposes the sale and use of emergency contraception and backs the Legislature’s war on women’s health programs
• Rejects “any sex education other than abstinence until marriage” in public schools
• Adopts a radical position that would essentially bar abortion even in cases of rape, of incest or to save a woman’s life
• Advocates for the repeal of the Voting Rights Act, minimum wage laws and the Endangered Species Act as well as the abolishment of the Environmental Protection Agency
• Attacks LGBT Texans as a threat to families and objects to laws that would protect them from job discrimination and hate crimes
• Calls for further funding cuts for public schools following draconian cuts by lawmakers in 2011
• Seeks to change the 14th Amendment to limit citizenship by birth only to those born to a U.S. citizen
• Threatens federal judges with impeachment if they don’t toe the far right’s line in controversial court cases

The most offensive-but-unsurprising part? An opposition to critical thinking. Yep:

“Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.”

Cant’ have anyone challenging “fixed beliefs,” now, can we? Because the students are always right, no matter how uneducated and uninformed they may be. Better to just have ‘em remember stuff, as critical thinking might damage their fragile brains. Or something like that.

Texas, please secede. If you love your country as much as you say you do, you really have no other option.

No, it’s not the recent one that showed how Fox News viewers are actually more poorly informed than people who consume no news at all, it’s this recent Gallup poll about party affiliation and moral permissiveness, as reported on by the Times’ Charles Blow. Of course, there’s the obvious result that Dems are less uptight about sexual matters (and given the low number of Republican approval of cheating and gays,  more honest), there’s this tidbit that struck me, not because it’s so shocking (it isn’t), but how it really ties into Republican attitudes about everything:

Republicans were only more permissive than Democrats and independents on three measures and they all had to do with the killing of people and animals — the death penalty, buying and wearing clothing made of animal fur and medical testing on animals. Interpret that as you will.

So they’re really only more permissive on things that harm other things. How not shocking.

… as lovers of a rather simplistic and juvenile definition of “liberty” no longer have their Great Savior in the game…

Ron Paul is shutting down all operations in upcoming primary states, dramatically scaling back his campaign due to a lack of resources.

“We will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states that have not yet voted,” Paul wrote in an e-mail to supporters Monday. “Doing so with any hope of success would take many tens of millions of dollars we simply do not have. I encourage all supporters of Liberty to make sure you get to the polls and make your voices heard, particularly in the local, state, and Congressional elections, where so many defenders of Freedom are fighting and need your support.”

And, no, Paultards, regardless of how many delegates you manage to get by showing up and bullying or whatever other thuggery you’re doing, he’s not gonna get the nomination or veepspot, and even if he did, he’d lose. Hard. Big time. He’s not in the game, and never was. Stormfront voters, as vocal as they may be, are not enough in number to put your man over the top. But by all means, keep doing what you’re doing – it might make the GOP convention more than just a glorified version of Hee-Haw, for a change. And please, please, please, carry on the flame in ’16 by supporting his douchebag, know-nothing son.

… seems to be completely absent from anything Rick Santorum ever says. You ever notice that? It’s Old Testament all the way with that fucker. No room for compassion, love, you know, the Jesus stuff. I fully expect that his foreign policy has something in it about gathering the foreskins of our enemies.

This concludes our random thought for the day.

Lest one think that the polling around last week’s “toothless Tuesday” primaries that showed how stupid Alabama and Mississippi GOP primary voters were (birthers, Muslim!), it’s not an anomaly. The latest out of Illinois is not much better:

Do you think Barack Obama is a Christian or a Muslim, or are you not sure?
Christian: 24
Muslim: 39
Not sure:37Do you think Barack Obama was born in the United States, or not?
Was born in U.S.: 36
Not born in U.S.: 36
Not sure: 28

Do you believe in evolution, or not?
Believe in evolution: 41
Do not: 43
Not sure: 16

 

Three strikes. You’re out. And you’re an idiot.

This is the Palin legacy, as a Kos diarist so succinctly put it:

When Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, AKA “Joe the Plumber,” won a Republican nomination for Congress, Sarah Palin’s transformation of the Republican electoral base was complete. What has happened to the GOP, much to the consternation of the elite party establishment, is that it has become a party of paranoid conspiracy freaks, religious kooks, bigots, the marginally insane, and amateur grifters like Joe the Plumber. If Palin were running in the primary election for president, there is no doubt that she would be winning it, probably handily. This, in a nutshell, is why Mitt Romney, the only plausibly qualified candidate running for president in the GOP, is having such a hard time winning what should be a cakewalk primary. This party is no longer the party of the country club or even of Ronald Reagan. This is a party unhinged from reality. This is the party of Palin.

When does this end? When does the shame of having such an abyssmally large idiot population begin to be treated as a flu epidemic or something easily as dangerous? And four more years of Obama, which is very likely at this point (unless of course, Ron Paul magically wins at a contested convention, of course, as the Paultards speculate will happen, in which case, he will readily trump Obama, as we’re all Randians now, right?), is going to make this kinda crazy seem downright tame compared to what we’re gonna get.

Unsurprisingly, shortly after Andrew Breitbart’s death, the wackaloons on the fringes (it’s amazing how right and left come full circle sometimes, ain’t it?) started speculating that Obama had Breitbart killed. Of course, escaped mental patient/tinfoil hat-wearer Alex Jones was pushing this hard, as no conspiracy is too crazy for that guy (no, not gonna link). The idea apparently stemmed from Breitbart’s comments at CPAC that he had some new damaging thing that’d have Obama shakin’ in those platform shoes with the goldfish in ‘em that he puts on when nobody’s looking. So, naturally, Obama couldn’t stand for this, and had him killed.

Now apart from the idea that it might have been a very obvious action from Obama to improve our nation a tiny bit, it didn’t happen. Breitbart, ever the frothing rageaholic, collapsed on a walk one night. I don’t think a poison dart from the bushes was the culprit. More than likely, he got incredibly aroused at the idea of his next media fabrication/poutrage or something, and it was too much for the ticker, and BAM!, the world just got a little bit nicer.

Well, Brietbart’s site has the goods, something that is, in their own words,  “a story that should swing the first hammer against the glass wall the mainstream media has built around Barack Obama.” Cuz, you know, the MSM has treated Obama with kid gloves so far… I’m so glad they didn’t cover all of that birther stuff when it was at its apex.

Ready for this? Get your call-for-impeachment-letters-to-your-representatives ready… Back when Obama was a state senator, he attended a play about Saul Alinsky! But wait! It gets worse! Afterwords, there was a discussion panel about the play, and…. he was on the discussion panel! Shit! These make Nixon’s crimes look like the equivalent of selling Girl Scout cookies or something. Feel the poutrage!

That’s The Love Song of Saul Alinsky. It’s radical leftist stuff, and it revels in its radical leftism.

And that’s Barack Obama, our president, on the poster.

This is who Barack Obama was. This was before Barack Obama ran for Congress in 2000—challenging former Black Panther Bobby L. Rush from the left in a daring but unsuccessful bid.

We should only be so lucky. We barely have a moderate leftist in this guy. Perhaps he’s waiting until the second term to actually try to implement some radical leftist ideas. Or maybe even some mildly leftist ideas. Not holding my breath on that one.

So there you have it folks, Breitbart was killed because he found out that Obama went to a play about a radical leftist and then participated in a discussion panel. He might as well resign now, even Ron Paul could beat him in the election after this, it’s that bad!

I am, believe it or not, both shocked and elated at the behavior of the Repugnicans lately. I mean, I’m used to all of the fear and hatred of vaginas, compassion, critical thinking, the poor, the non-white, and science – that’s part and parcel of who they are. I just can’t believe that they’re doubling down on this birth control thing, something that most reasonable Americans thought was settled 40 years ago. I thought they mighta reached peak wingnut back when people still gave a shit about the teabaggers… apparently I was wrong. And, as it’s getting closer to the election, I say “Super!’

The thing that’s always been hard for me to figure out with the nutters is the strength of their conviction… when there’s as much crazy as there is going around nowadays, one can’t help but be cynical. Most of ‘em can’t actually believe this shit, can they? But then when I see the doubling down and the crazy keep going up, I start to think they do. Why else would they continue down a path that automatically alienates a sizable portion  of the population (you know, those “sluts”, “sluts” being anyone who has used their vagina for something other than the explicit use of making a baby)? They must actually believe this shit. That’s all I can really come to. And the country-club wing that defined the GOP for so long has been browbeaten into silence, or they’re just going along for the ride because they think that there’s enough crazy in the country to have it play to their political advantage.

The “oh-shit-they’re-fucking-clueless” thing really hit home for me this morning, when I checked my e-mail and read my Christian Coalition newsletter. Like Sarah Palin’s Twitter feed, I signed up for it strictly for entertainment purposes. The latest:

Unfortunately, through nefarious shenanigans, the Democrats would not even allow Senators to vote up or down on the Blunt Amendment.  Harry Reid, whose party controls the United States Senate – undoubtedly for less than a year more with disastrous votes for the Democrats such as Thursday’s vote – had to play cute and have a vote to “Table the Blunt Amendment” which would confuse a lot of Americans; and that was the Democrats’ intention. The vote was not about contraception as the pro-abortion liberals maintain, but maintaining religious freedom for all Americans which the Blunt Amendment would have done.

Oooh! Nefarious shenanigans! The Repugs would neeeeeeeeever do that (cough cough filibuster cough). And the “disastrous vote”? That’s the funniest thing of all. Not everyone hates vaginas, Christian Coalition. And the Christian Coalition mentioning “confused Americans”?  That’s golden. Religious freedom, my ass.

I’m surprised that President Obama doesn’t have a terminal case of the hiccups right now. Between the GOP clownshow primary, Rush, and all of the other nuttery, I’ll bet he can’t stop laughing. I know I can’t.

Sarah Palin… remember her? Yeah, she’s still the dumbest fucking person in the universe, doing her role to keep the mouthbreathers agitated. As usual, it’s all a conspiracy:

Appearing on Fox News this morning, Sarah Palin said she doesn’t believe the good job numbers:

PALIN: The media is reeling these numbers, that I do not believe are accurate, when it comes to jobs. I still think it is a jobless recovery that is affecting America right now. … So that 8.3 percent unemployment number is an indicator to President Obama and to his allies in the media to make it look like things are getting better.

Someone, please tell me… what is inside her skull that keeps her cranium from collapsing in on itself? Some sort of highly compressed methane?

Of course, the bubbleheads on the FOX morning show went a similar route, a few days earlier.

What I still can’t figure out is if they actually believe this stuff. You know the rule by now, for conservatives: when the facts don’t fit the reality (whether it be climate change, the age of the earth, “Christian” founding fathers or whatever), you change the reality.

Jeezus-effin-christ, I am so sick of these people. Where were these nuts when I was growing up? Did they stay in the Bible Belt or Idaho or something? Rapture these idiots, please.