We’ve had to suffer through the remake of just about every good and bad horror movie and film adaptation of every good and bad tv show. When will it stop? More 80′s crap.
But at least I was able to find out about this, which will be the funniest thing you’ve seen in quite some time.
One of the great things about my significant other is that she’s a cinephile, and has turned me on to a lot of good movies, in particular, old ones that I’ve never seen before. And, of course (as a prerequisite for hangin’ with me), she doesn’t offend easily. That’s a good thing, as I’ve reciprocated by showing her the joys of grindhouse trash, which, surprisingly, she seems to find entertaining. She actually sat through all of the original Last House on the Left, one of the few movies I’ve seen where I actually felt like I needed to take a shower after, but she couldn’t make it through Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS.
Anyways, the other night we watched Black Mama, White Mama. As far as the “women in prison” sub-genre, it was pretty tame, but rather craptacular. Pam Grier stars as a hooker who ripped off her pimp and needs to escape to get the money, and Margaret Markov (in a hilarious twist) stars as the leader of a “revolutionary army” who needs to get out to help the “revolution” (on some small island on the Philippines, where this was filmed). Loaded with horrendous dialog, thousands of plot holes so big you could drive a truck through, and loads of gratuitous tit shots, it was a hoot.
I saw this one a few weeks ago, a recent film from Norway which features Nazi zombies (always a plus in my book) and a lot of stuff stolen from Raimi’s Evil Dead films. It was mildly amusing. Some highlights: hot Norwegian girls, the fat guy’s brain falling out, and some couple having sex in an outhouse right after the guy finished pooping (must be a Scandinavian thing, I guess). It streams on Netflix as of now, not fantastic, but a good time-killer, and quite funny at times.
I live for this shit. Seriously. I don’ t know how I only managed to find out about this a few days ago, but last year, a blaxploitation spoof came out, Scott Sanders’ Black Dynamite, starring Michael Jai White. If you know and love these films like I do, you have to check this out, as it has just about every convention and cliche from the films, and it’s funnier than hell, too. It’s a lot funnier than that Wayans Brothers spoof, I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka. No review… just see it, already.
Ok, file this under “so-fucking-bad-it’s-genius”. Schlockmeister Al Adamson gave us this followup to his bike flick “Satan’s Sadists”, and this one is truly mind-boggling. Me and Jen watched it a few weeks ago, and had a blast. Barely cohesive “plot”, things that happen for no apparent reason, a Charles Manson-like guru who lives in his “commune” (which consists of one shack next to a restaurant and about five people), who kills people who find the bales of pot he has in his shack, just about every guy is a rapist, and just about every cliche about the 60′s counterculture is in here, in highly exaggerateed stereotypes.
And note in the trailer, the guy who gets “raped” by the women (“These sex or-gees is unnatural!”)is none other than Broadsides‘ Michael Colby, albeit a bit chunkier. Classic, gotta get it. You’ll puke laughing!:
Adamson’s original biker flick, Satan’s Sadists, not nearly as incompetent, but crappy, nonetheless. It killed West Side Story’s Russ Tamblyn’s career, that’s for sure.
Director Al Adamson, who married Regina Carrol (the “freak-out girl”) was later found murdered, buried under the concrete and tile-covered whirlpool bath in his newly remodeled bathroom. His contractor did it.
I know I just posted an FTG:PM a few days ago, but this is too sweet not to put up. And remember, keep declaring a “War on Christmas”, if only to give the lunatic right a chance to be right about something for the first time ever.
Jeeeezus, I don’t show my face for a few days around here and y’all keep coming back anyways. Seriously, what’s wrong with you people?
All kidding aside, it might be a bit light around here in the coming weeks,as I’m in crunch time with grad school, got the wedding, the Dem Convention, and am finishing up the house addition as well as putting on a deck. It’s endless, I tells ya. Endless. But I appreciate you all coming here, I really do.
Speaking of the Dem Convention, you’ve probably heard by now that Obama’s giving his acceptance speech in a football stadium, ensuring I will get absolutely no good photographs from the event. Rumor has it that John McCain is considering something similar, but so far, the only thing he can come up with is some little-league field with a few bleachers.
And now, some random madness of marginal interest for you, in the form of the late German actor Klaus Kinski. Kinski was an enormously talented, but rather insane artist. I first saw him in the numerous spaghetti westerns he starred in in the 60′s but he had quite the career apart form that. He did some rather fine films with German director Werner Herzog, such as Aguirre, the Wrath of God, where he played an insanely intense and evil conquistador.
What was strange about Kinski is that he’d act in some seriously artistic endeavors, and then turn around and act in a Z-grade film, just collecting a paycheck, unabashedly. Rumour has it that Steven Spielberg approached him to have a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark. He declined, saying something along the lines that nobody would be interested in that film, and then went on to act in Venom, a horrendous cinematic pile of shit about a guy that kills people with snakes. But it paid more than Raiders.
And he was a megalomaniac, prone to batshit insane temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, as you can see in this clip from Werner Herzog’s Klaus Kinski: My Best Fiend, his documentary about their turbulent relationship, in which the both of them had actually plotted to kill each other. This was some footage from the filming of Fitzcarraldo:
The Indians in the film that he’s stressing out actually approached Herzog afterward and offered to kill Kinksi. Good times. Kinski was definitely an enigma, an incredibly talented, unabashed prick, but if you’re a fan of Eurocinema, he’s unavoidable. Somehow I supsect this is the first blog post in the history of blogdom that mentions Kinski and Obama in the same post.
Ever since I started reviewing those “spaghetti westerns” on here, I’ve come to recognize that there is really no overlap in traffic; people that come here for the movie reviews aren’t here for the other stuff, and vice versa. That fact, coupled with the fact that I’d like to expand on them led me to create a completely different website (with a lot of help from Julie Waters) dedicated to those films. It’s now up and running.. I’m exhausted, having been up past 3 am for the past week getting the content ready. All of the Eurowestern stuff from here is there, as well as a lot of new stuff. If you’re curious, go have a look, by clicking on the below banner:
So, what does this mean for FBC, dear readers? Well, I’m not going to post Eurowestern reviews over here anymore. Instead, I’m going to post occasional reviews over here, regardless of genre. Sometimes it may be a grindhouse film, a foreign film, or a mainstream Hollywood shitfest, depending on what my mood may be at the time. So, by all means, please have a look when I post one, you might be pleasantly surprised.
Movie, director, and year, please, with no Obligatory Stupid Trivia Question this time…
