Feb 16 2012

Where do you go when you jump off of the cliff and there’s still no bottom?

Sarah Palin… remember her? Yeah, she’s still the dumbest fucking person in the universe, doing her role to keep the mouthbreathers agitated. As usual, it’s all a conspiracy:

Appearing on Fox News this morning, Sarah Palin said she doesn’t believe the good job numbers:

PALIN: The media is reeling these numbers, that I do not believe are accurate, when it comes to jobs. I still think it is a jobless recovery that is affecting America right now. … So that 8.3 percent unemployment number is an indicator to President Obama and to his allies in the media to make it look like things are getting better.

Someone, please tell me… what is inside her skull that keeps her cranium from collapsing in on itself? Some sort of highly compressed methane?

Of course, the bubbleheads on the FOX morning show went a similar route, a few days earlier.

What I still can’t figure out is if they actually believe this stuff. You know the rule by now, for conservatives: when the facts don’t fit the reality (whether it be climate change, the age of the earth, “Christian” founding fathers or whatever), you change the reality.

Jeezus-effin-christ, I am so sick of these people. Where were these nuts when I was growing up? Did they stay in the Bible Belt or Idaho or something? Rapture these idiots, please.


Oct 9 2011

Definition of an idiot

Heh:

Peter Singleton and Michelle McCormick left their jobs, homes, and families to move to Iowa to campaign for Sarah Palin. Wednesday evening they found out they didn’t have a candidate.


Jul 18 2011

It’s a blockbuster!

Sarah Failin’s new fictional documentary, “Undefeated” (a funny name, considering how she lost in 2008), is mopping up the box office, grossing a whopping $75,000 dollars on it’s opening weekend. Perhaps it would have done better if it was a cartoon. From TP:

The Wrap, a website that covers Hollywood, confirmed Time’s numbers, reporting that the movie “got off to a soft start… grossing somewhere between $65,000-$75,000, according to estimates confirmed by distributor ARC Entertainment.”

By way of comparison, the biopic “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work” opened on seven screens last year and averaged $23,479 per theater.

Joan Rivers, who is almost, if not more annoying than Palin, did better. The fact that in 2012 that anyone would go see a movie with Joan Rivers is baffling enough, but that monstrosity still beat Palin. Of course, FOX News is saying theaters are “packed” for it, so perhaps there’s some other definition of “packed” out there that I’m unaware of.  Or, perhaps they meant to say “other movies in the theaters where this film was showing were packed”, or perhaps “the theater exits were packed”. Must be a typo, as FOX would never make stuff up.

Please, run already, Sarah, so you can be undefeated yet again, and hopefully the mouthbreathers that still pay attention to your white-trash-reality-freakshow life might even begin to tire of you.


Jun 11 2011

Random Saturday morning brain fart

Three things…

Sierra Nevada’s Torpedo IPA is my new fav brew. Drink with caution, as I learned this morning.

The hype about the release of Palin’s e-mails made me think, I don’t remember the last time so many people got excited about having a bucket of diarrhea suddenly available for perusal.

With Alabama passing some highly regressive abortion and immigration laws this week, I was waiting for the talk of boycotts and such, then I realized, who the fuck would want to go to Alabama in the first place? South, please secede again. We’ll let you go this time, I promise. And don’t forget to take Texas with you.


Jun 3 2011

Palin’s lesson

… in improvisational stupidity, seen in Boston. History teachers across the nation are suffering from bleeding ears right now, and many more Americans are hoping she does actually run for president. The media could just cover the campaign like the white trash reality show that it is.

Although Donald Trump came close, and there will undoubtedly be some serious competition from Bachmann for “dumbest American to open their mouths in public,” I suspect her position is safe in that regard.


May 27 2011

BREAKING: Blithering moron starts northeast bus tour

Get a load of this tacky piece of shit (the bus, not the woman touring in the bus):

Yes, Sarah Palin has returned for one last grasp at relevancy. She’s doing this by touring the Northeast (AFAIK, steering clear of Vermont, as we don’t tend to glorify the Stupid as much as some other parts of the country does), and visiting a bunch of historical sites which she undoubtedly knows nothing about, other than what she might have written on her hand. Of course, our media, with its perpetual hard-on for the lowest hanging of fruits will undoubtedly run with this one for a while. Presidential politics will be the spin (if only we could be so lucky), but it’s really about Sarah just making even more money off of the saps who are just a tiny bid dumber than she is. The Rude One’s called it pretty good:

And, surely, the Magical Mystery Tour bus will stop at battlefields and monuments, Bunker Hill and the Lincoln Memorial, so Palin can nasally talk all about “freedom” and “rights” and “people doing things without government telling them what to do,” the same bullshit that gets her slaveringly dumb followers all drippy and semi-hard, as she keeps SarahCo profitable for another quarter or two while she teases them with promise of an ass-reaming with the dildo of her presidential ambitions.

Indeed. I just can’t quit you, Sarah. You can have your Ryans, Boehners and Bachmann, but you’re still the epitome of the shallow, vacuous rectum that has come to be representative of movement conservatism. Keep spreading the word. 13 of your 15 are up. Savor ‘em, and smoke ‘em while ya’ got ‘em.


Jan 18 2011

Point to ponder

As much as Sarah Palin needs to shut the fuck up and go away for the good of the nation, it poses a dilemma… if she does, who will be our new national embarrassment?


Jan 9 2011

“It was simply cross-hairs like you’d see on maps”

Apparently, Sarah Palin thinks you’re all as fucktarded as she is:

“We never ever, ever intended it to be gun sights. It was simply cross-hairs like you’d see on maps,” said Rebecca Mansour on the Tammy Bruce radio show. Moreover, there was “nothing irresponsible” about the image, and to draw a line connecting Palin and Saturday’s shooting is “obscene” and “appalling.”

Uh-huh.

I’m going to say what a lot on my side are probably thinking but won’t say out loud, as I’m not equipped with a fully-functioning filter. I realize that this guy was mentally ill (as are many conservatives, if we are to judge by what is said on Glenn Beck, etc.). But I hope to hell the investigation finds a solid, irrefutable right-wing connection, for numerous reasons. It will hopefully be so concrete, the media will have to stop this bullshit “both sides do it” horseshit. In 2011, the right owns violent rhetoric. Period. Maybe some people will have their come-to-Jim-Jones moment, and start to realize what a vacant, ignorant, mean-spirited and dangerous twat Sarah Palin is. You can only polish a turd so much, before the smell of shit is overpowering.

Oh, and lookie here, breaking, on all places, on Fox News… did someone get a conscience? From a memo from the DHS:

Intervention by someone?* no direct connection – but strong suspicion is being directed at AmRen / American Renaissance. Suspect is possibly linked to this group. (through videos posted on his myspace and YouTube account.). The group’s ideology is anti government, anti immigration, anti ZOG (Zionist Occupational Government), anti Semitic.

But of course, promoting violent anti-Semitism is primarily something liberals do, right?


Dec 24 2010

Your braindead media at work

Ok, so the so-called story here is “Sarah Palin Uses Info Gleaned From ‘Treasonous’ WikiLeaks To Pen Op-Ed On Dangers Of Iran.”

When is someone going to write a story about why anyone should give a flying fuck what Sarah Palin thinks about Iran?Or NorthSouth  Korea? Or any matter of import?  That’s the story I’m waiting to see.

Oh, here it is. And here.

When did she become a go-to expert on foreign policy? She’s a fucking product, designed to sell the neo-con agenda to those who find “neoconservative” has too many syllables to understand.

Besides, Iran’s too far from her house to see it, so how could she really know what to do anyway?


Sep 30 2010

Tea Party Coloring Books!

Finally, a book that even Sarah Palin could understand.