Five Before Chaos

This anti-mosque thing has me on a rip lately. So, it seems most Americans realize they have the right to build it, yet don’t believe they should. Great. Now kindly shut the fuck up* and stop making America look like some backwards redneck piece of shit town down south, please. You’re okay with the titty bars and porn store nearby, and apparently have no problem building a new office on it that’s going to house a bunch of Wall Street shitheads who will continue to dick over the rest of us.

“Hallowed ground”, kiss my pucker.

For your perusal, a bit on a library that’s going to be built next to Sarah Palin. Apparently, this is a major affront to people who read:

Plans to build a state-of-the-art library next to Republican catastrophe Sarah Palin are causing outrage across mainstream America. Almost 40% of Americans still support the idea of books. Campaigners have described the project as insensitive and a deliberate act of provocation by people with brains. The issue is forming a dividing line in advance of November’s mid-term congressional elections with candidates being forced to declare whether they have ever been to a library or spoken to someone who has books in their home. Meanwhile President Obama has caused unease within his own Democratic party by endorsing the library and claiming that not everyone who reads books is responsible for calling Mrs Palin a fuckwit nutjob nightmare of a human being.

*clarification for the mentally challenged… no, I don’t mean “suppress your idiotic speech”, I mean, “get over it and find something useful to be angry about. Hey! Look at this shiny new penny!”

The latest from America’s favorite Retardican…

Ha ha! Have the grammatical skills of a slow-performing kindergartner? CELEBRATE IT!

Yes, she almost makes Dubya look like Einstein. It’s that bad. What’s worse is how many people love this vacuous waste of oxygen. What keeps her head from caving in on itself, we will never know. But of course, she’s not anti-intellectual, right, W.R.?

Palin bio aimed at 9- to 12-year-olds

At least someone’s finally picking up on the proper level of cognition and comprehension for the average Sarah Palin fan.

“I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them”

Grayson slams Caribou Barbie hard. Hilarious.

Please, this guy must be getting pretty old, right now. How much longer is he gonna stick around and torture us with this crap? The de facto guru of “Washington villager conventional wisdom footsie” knocks this one out of the park in terms of sheer vacuousness:

The snows that obliterated Washington in the past week interfered with many scheduled meetings, but they did not prevent the delivery of one important political message: Take Sarah Palin seriously…

This was not the first time that Palin has impressed me…

Blessed with an enthusiastic audience of conservative activists, Palin used the Tea Party gathering and coverage on the cable networks to display the full repertoire she possesses, touching on national security, economics, fiscal and social policy, and every other area where she could draw a contrast with Barack Obama and point up what Republicans see as vulnerabilities in Washington…

Methinks Broder would also be “impressed” by a shiny new penny dangling on a string, or perhaps a July 4th sparkler, given the bar he’s set here. Funny how he failed to notice how those things in Caribou Barbie’s “full repertoire” are all things she doesn’t have a fucking clue about, even with crib notes.

Sweet merciful crap. He’s like that neighbor you used to live next to who would stop you on the porch and talk about just about everything he doesn’t have a friggin’ clue about.

The Sarah Palin book that she didn’t write comes out this week. Time for a little linkdump dedicated to one of the most vacuous personalities to grace American politics in at least a generation…

Think Progress has a few on her worth checking out… first, her valuable insights on the 9-11 mastermind trial. Since the media somehow thinks her non-informed opinion is somehow newsworthy, I fully expect them to interview a gerbil, a tree stump and a corpse, as they will all have equally insightful, if not deeper, thoughts than she.

Also on TP, we get to see how pervasive Palin’s godidiocy really is. It completely explains why she’s wrong about every single thing she ever talks about:

“In everything that happens to her, from meeting Todd to her selection by Mr. McCain for the Republican ticket, she sees the hand of God: “My life is in His hands. I encourage readers to do what I did many years ago, invite Him in to take over.”

And there’s a full review of the book in the NYT here. And no, her book is not written in crayon. But it is ghost-written by someone whose last book was co-written with an avowed white supremacist.

The BAGNews Notes, someplace I haven’t linked to in a while (and one of my favorite sites) has a take on that Newsweek cover that rips Sarah pretty good.

Lastly, Booman has one about the general fraudulent aura about her, commenting on her faux outrage of being fact checked by the AP.

Now, not having a teevee, I’m sure I’ll be spared a lot of this infantile Sarahbabble. But I’m sure I’ll see it, as it spreads like a nasty, smelly fungus.

UPDATE: One more, from Cole, with a good comparison of Palin and Miss “Jesus Boobies” Carrie Prejean:

Both expect to be treated with deference by journalists, and accuse the most milquetoast of old, male interviewers of bias.

They’re both conservative fundamentalist megachurch attendees.

Much of what they say is later proven to be a lie.

Both quit their day job to cash in.

Bad, bad blogger. With the Dems completely taking (or giving it to us, depending on your perspective) it in the ass on healthcare, ever-increasing loony wingnuttery and all the other crap going on, and Sarah Palin’s new book comin’ out, I’d be blogging like mad. But alas, no dice, as Mr. Unemployed Grad Student is ridiculously busy doing odd jobs when he can find ‘em, looking for work, and doing the school thing.

Here’s some stupid for you (I’ll get to the Palin book in a minute, don’t worry). As I’m getting to the end of my classes, I’ll be doing my thesis soon. For the last year or so, I’ve been stressing about putting in my necessary proposal, due tomorrow. Put it off and put it off, ad nauseum. So I finally got it done last week, it only took a few hours. Woulda saved me a ton of stress had I done those few hours maybe six months ago, eh?

Oh, so the Palin book is called “Going Rogue”, and surprisingly, it’s not written in crayon. What’s funny is “making the fact that one is a clueless anti-intellectual blithering idiot into a marketable talent” ain’t “going rogue”… it’s a typical American phenomenon.

So anyways, I recently got a hold of one of those nifty Sony VAIO notebooks. It’s tiny as hell, but great for webstuff and writing when on the go. Problem is (and apparently the problem with note/netbooks in general) is that due to the small screen, often the Windows dialog boxes are cut off on the bottom where the “OK” and “Cancel” buttons are, which is a huge pain in the ass. Anyone have any solutions to this? I already have the screen resolution set to max.

As to be expected, the conservative reaction to Caribou Barbie’s incoherent resignation is one of typical conservative perpetual victimhood and an array of absent facts. It’s amazing with these people how their figures’ failings, corruption and incompetence are always someone else’s fault. Remember, personal responsibility is a big thing to these conservatives (narrowly defined, of course, as “not wanting to pay for some fat-assed black girl with five kids and five different dads of those kids who buy high-end vodka with their food stamps” – but I’m pretty sure it stops there).

Abridged Douthat: They made up all sorts of stuff about her, but if all those things about her batshit insane religious views and such were true, that’s good, too.

Better Balloon Juice:

Nothing annoys me more than the conservative myth that to be an ordinary American you have to be a moron. Although it’s probably just a corollary of the myth that to be an ordinary American you have to be conservative.

I’d also add  that one has to be an unsophisticated moron, as iceburg lettuce, Twinkies, Hamburger Helper, and Old Milwaukee are the only proper items for consumption for True Red-Blooded Americans™. If you eat arugula or something John Boehner can’t pronounce, you’re waging class warfare.

Yep, by now you’ve heard of the latest incoherent word spray that was Sara Palin’s resignation speech. Between losing her and Joe the Plumber, I’m becoming blog-despondent. Actually, not really, beacuse like herpes, these two just keep coming back and giving more, whether you want them to, or not. Can’t wait for Caribou Barbie’s big scandal to break.. you just know it will.

Anyways for your perusal, Ed Brayton had to quote one of Sullivan’s readers with something so good and spot-on, I’m just going to be lazy and quote it here, too (but by all means, please go visit Ed’s Most Excellent Dispatches From the Culture Wars, one of my few regular reads). This basically captures the fundamentalist psychology for reality-suspension in a nutshell, at least as to how it relates to why they love Palin:

Part of Sarah Palin’s irresistible appeal to her fundamentalist base is her ability to look at the camera with utter conviction and declare black to be white.

The ability to lie well is a valuable part of the fundamentalist psychology. My son isn’t gay, he just hasn’t found the right woman! Those rocks aren’t 50 million years old, they just look like it as a test of our faith! My sexless marriage isn’t foundering, it is filled with God’s spirit! The minister isn’t molesting little Maria, they’re just very close! It isn’t torture, it is being tough on terrorists!

Fundamentalists can recognize a truly audacious and talented liar from miles away. Instead of running the other way, as you might expect, they gather around the powerful liar, for they know that their own lies will be respected and protected by a leader who understands the paramount importance of preserving their whole system of denial.

In a Denny’s. Only place more appropriate would’ve been a Wal-Mart.

History will show that the starting point of the grassroots movement to draft Sarah Palin as president began at a Denny’s Restaurant in West Haven, Connecticut.

Gov. Sarah Palin Meet-ups will be held in towns and colleges across the country the second Tuesday of every month. The next scheduled meet-up is Tuesday, April 14th.

The idea is for people of like interests to meet informally on the second Tuesday of each month. No official talks, or speeches. Just some coffee, a bite to eat and a chance to chat.

“History will show” that the most idiotic veep-candidate ever will probably be a footnote and nothing more, albeit a very funny one. Perhaps they can figure out at one of their little chats how to get the country to forget what a blithering, vacuous idiot she is. When’s the Draft Joe-the-Plumber meetup? It’s probably at some 80′s nightclub or something. Or Wal-mart.