Five Before Chaos

Please, this guy must be getting pretty old, right now. How much longer is he gonna stick around and torture us with this crap? The de facto guru of “Washington villager conventional wisdom footsie” knocks this one out of the park in terms of sheer vacuousness:

The snows that obliterated Washington in the past week interfered with many scheduled meetings, but they did not prevent the delivery of one important political message: Take Sarah Palin seriously…

This was not the first time that Palin has impressed me…

Blessed with an enthusiastic audience of conservative activists, Palin used the Tea Party gathering and coverage on the cable networks to display the full repertoire she possesses, touching on national security, economics, fiscal and social policy, and every other area where she could draw a contrast with Barack Obama and point up what Republicans see as vulnerabilities in Washington…

Methinks Broder would also be “impressed” by a shiny new penny dangling on a string, or perhaps a July 4th sparkler, given the bar he’s set here. Funny how he failed to notice how those things in Caribou Barbie’s “full repertoire” are all things she doesn’t have a fucking clue about, even with crib notes.

Sweet merciful crap. He’s like that neighbor you used to live next to who would stop you on the porch and talk about just about everything he doesn’t have a friggin’ clue about.

The Sarah Palin book that she didn’t write comes out this week. Time for a little linkdump dedicated to one of the most vacuous personalities to grace American politics in at least a generation…

Think Progress has a few on her worth checking out… first, her valuable insights on the 9-11 mastermind trial. Since the media somehow thinks her non-informed opinion is somehow newsworthy, I fully expect them to interview a gerbil, a tree stump and a corpse, as they will all have equally insightful, if not deeper, thoughts than she.

Also on TP, we get to see how pervasive Palin’s godidiocy really is. It completely explains why she’s wrong about every single thing she ever talks about:

“In everything that happens to her, from meeting Todd to her selection by Mr. McCain for the Republican ticket, she sees the hand of God: “My life is in His hands. I encourage readers to do what I did many years ago, invite Him in to take over.”

And there’s a full review of the book in the NYT here. And no, her book is not written in crayon. But it is ghost-written by someone whose last book was co-written with an avowed white supremacist.

The BAGNews Notes, someplace I haven’t linked to in a while (and one of my favorite sites) has a take on that Newsweek cover that rips Sarah pretty good.

Lastly, Booman has one about the general fraudulent aura about her, commenting on her faux outrage of being fact checked by the AP.

Now, not having a teevee, I’m sure I’ll be spared a lot of this infantile Sarahbabble. But I’m sure I’ll see it, as it spreads like a nasty, smelly fungus.

UPDATE: One more, from Cole, with a good comparison of Palin and Miss “Jesus Boobies” Carrie Prejean:

Both expect to be treated with deference by journalists, and accuse the most milquetoast of old, male interviewers of bias.

They’re both conservative fundamentalist megachurch attendees.

Much of what they say is later proven to be a lie.

Both quit their day job to cash in.

Bad, bad blogger. With the Dems completely taking (or giving it to us, depending on your perspective) it in the ass on healthcare, ever-increasing loony wingnuttery and all the other crap going on, and Sarah Palin’s new book comin’ out, I’d be blogging like mad. But alas, no dice, as Mr. Unemployed Grad Student is ridiculously busy doing odd jobs when he can find ‘em, looking for work, and doing the school thing.

Here’s some stupid for you (I’ll get to the Palin book in a minute, don’t worry). As I’m getting to the end of my classes, I’ll be doing my thesis soon. For the last year or so, I’ve been stressing about putting in my necessary proposal, due tomorrow. Put it off and put it off, ad nauseum. So I finally got it done last week, it only took a few hours. Woulda saved me a ton of stress had I done those few hours maybe six months ago, eh?

Oh, so the Palin book is called “Going Rogue”, and surprisingly, it’s not written in crayon. What’s funny is “making the fact that one is a clueless anti-intellectual blithering idiot into a marketable talent” ain’t “going rogue”… it’s a typical American phenomenon.

So anyways, I recently got a hold of one of those nifty Sony VAIO notebooks. It’s tiny as hell, but great for webstuff and writing when on the go. Problem is (and apparently the problem with note/netbooks in general) is that due to the small screen, often the Windows dialog boxes are cut off on the bottom where the “OK” and “Cancel” buttons are, which is a huge pain in the ass. Anyone have any solutions to this? I already have the screen resolution set to max.

As to be expected, the conservative reaction to Caribou Barbie’s incoherent resignation is one of typical conservative perpetual victimhood and an array of absent facts. It’s amazing with these people how their figures’ failings, corruption and incompetence are always someone else’s fault. Remember, personal responsibility is a big thing to these conservatives (narrowly defined, of course, as “not wanting to pay for some fat-assed black girl with five kids and five different dads of those kids who buy high-end vodka with their food stamps” – but I’m pretty sure it stops there).

Abridged Douthat: They made up all sorts of stuff about her, but if all those things about her batshit insane religious views and such were true, that’s good, too.

Better Balloon Juice:

Nothing annoys me more than the conservative myth that to be an ordinary American you have to be a moron. Although it’s probably just a corollary of the myth that to be an ordinary American you have to be conservative.

I’d also add  that one has to be an unsophisticated moron, as iceburg lettuce, Twinkies, Hamburger Helper, and Old Milwaukee are the only proper items for consumption for True Red-Blooded Americans™. If you eat arugula or something John Boehner can’t pronounce, you’re waging class warfare.

Yep, by now you’ve heard of the latest incoherent word spray that was Sara Palin’s resignation speech. Between losing her and Joe the Plumber, I’m becoming blog-despondent. Actually, not really, beacuse like herpes, these two just keep coming back and giving more, whether you want them to, or not. Can’t wait for Caribou Barbie’s big scandal to break.. you just know it will.

Anyways for your perusal, Ed Brayton had to quote one of Sullivan’s readers with something so good and spot-on, I’m just going to be lazy and quote it here, too (but by all means, please go visit Ed’s Most Excellent Dispatches From the Culture Wars, one of my few regular reads). This basically captures the fundamentalist psychology for reality-suspension in a nutshell, at least as to how it relates to why they love Palin:

Part of Sarah Palin’s irresistible appeal to her fundamentalist base is her ability to look at the camera with utter conviction and declare black to be white.

The ability to lie well is a valuable part of the fundamentalist psychology. My son isn’t gay, he just hasn’t found the right woman! Those rocks aren’t 50 million years old, they just look like it as a test of our faith! My sexless marriage isn’t foundering, it is filled with God’s spirit! The minister isn’t molesting little Maria, they’re just very close! It isn’t torture, it is being tough on terrorists!

Fundamentalists can recognize a truly audacious and talented liar from miles away. Instead of running the other way, as you might expect, they gather around the powerful liar, for they know that their own lies will be respected and protected by a leader who understands the paramount importance of preserving their whole system of denial.

In a Denny’s. Only place more appropriate would’ve been a Wal-Mart.

History will show that the starting point of the grassroots movement to draft Sarah Palin as president began at a Denny’s Restaurant in West Haven, Connecticut.

Gov. Sarah Palin Meet-ups will be held in towns and colleges across the country the second Tuesday of every month. The next scheduled meet-up is Tuesday, April 14th.

The idea is for people of like interests to meet informally on the second Tuesday of each month. No official talks, or speeches. Just some coffee, a bite to eat and a chance to chat.

“History will show” that the most idiotic veep-candidate ever will probably be a footnote and nothing more, albeit a very funny one. Perhaps they can figure out at one of their little chats how to get the country to forget what a blithering, vacuous idiot she is. When’s the Draft Joe-the-Plumber meetup? It’s probably at some 80’s nightclub or something. Or Wal-mart.

Dear Sarah Palin, Please Shut Up Already.

on FoxNews, of all places. Highlights – she didn’t know Africa was a continent, or what countries were in NAFTA. We really dodged a bullet with this one, eh? party of Dumb.

were nowhere to be seen at the entrance of this McCain rally:

Somehow I suspect they won’t be going to any other ones, either. Remember, McCain said at the last debate that he is very proud of the people who show up at his rallies. Go figure.

Seriously, I haven’t beat a subject to death like this since the whole racist VT secessionist movement story 2 years ago. It’s just the gift that keeps on giving, like looking at a car wreck. But I must move on. Most of the thinking persons in this country have figured out she’s an idiot. In fact, “Sarah Palin + idiot” is giving me tons of Google action lately.

Two more things, and I’ll try to move on (but I make no promises). First, one of the best comments about last night’s debate comes from one of the commenters over at Boiling Mad:

If Obama resorted to leaning on Ebonics the way Palin leaned on the redneck dialect, conservatives would be calling him the n-word.

Indeed, and you betcha! (wink wink)

Second, there’s some seriously must-read Matt Taibbi out there right now, Mad Dog Palin. There’s just too much quote-worthy stuff in it, so go read the whole thing. A sampling:

All of which tells you about what you’d expect from a raise-the-base choice like Palin: She’s a puffed-up dimwit with primitive religious beliefs who had to be educated as to the fact that the Constitution did not exactly envision government executives firing librarians. Judging from the importance progressive critics seem to attach to these revelations, you’d think that these were actually negatives in modern American politics. But Americans like politicians who hate books and see the face of Jesus in every tree stump. They like them stupid and mean and ignorant of the rules. Which is why Palin has only seemed to grow in popularity as more and more of these revelations have come out…

Here’s what Sarah Palin represents: being a fat fucking pig who pins “Country First” buttons on his man titties and chants “U-S-A! U-S-A!” at the top of his lungs while his kids live off credit cards and Saudis buy up all the mortgages in Kansas.

The truly disgusting thing about Sarah Palin isn’t that she’s totally unqualified, or a religious zealot, or married to a secessionist, or unable to educate her own daughter about sex, or a fake conservative who raised taxes and horked up earmark millions every chance she got. No, the most disgusting thing about her is what she says about us: that you can ram us in the ass for eight solid years, and we’ll not only thank you for your trouble, we’ll sign you up for eight more years, if only you promise to stroke us in the right spot for a few hours around election time.

If I don’t talk to you before Monday, have a good weekend.